卡尔·荣格–长不大的孩子的心理学解析

//卡尔·荣格–长不大的孩子的心理学分析//

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

人只有鼓起勇气，告别海岸，才能发现新的海洋。

//////////

Marie-Louis von Franz, a Swiss psychologist, noticed a disturbing trend in the mid-20th century – many men and women who were well into their adult years remained psychologically stunted in their maturation.

They occupied the bodies of adults, but their mental development failed to keep pace.

On Franz saw this as such a pressing issue that in 1959 she gave a series of lectures on the psychology of the Puer Aeternus, which is Latin for “eternal child”.

瑞士心理学家玛丽·路易斯·冯·弗朗茨注意到20世纪中叶的一个令人不安的趋势:许多成年男性和女性在成熟的过程中心理发育仍然迟缓。

他们拥有了成年人的身体，但他们的智力发展并没有跟上。

在弗朗茨看来，这是一个非常紧迫的问题，1959年，她做了一系列关于“Puer Aeternus”心理学的讲座，“Puer Aeternus”在拉丁语中是“永远长不大的孩子”的意思。

//////////

While originally this term was used in mythology to refer to a child god who remains forever young,her teacher Carl Jung had adopted the term for psychological purposes to describe the individual who, like Peter Pan, fails to grow up.

In one of her lectures, von Franz describes the puer aeternus as the individual who:“…remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen are continued into later life, coupled in most cases with too great a dependence on the mother.”

Von Franz predicted that in the coming decades what she called “the problem of the puer aeternus” would spread across the world and affect more and more individuals.

这个词最初在神话中用来指永远年轻的童神，她的老师卡尔·荣格采用这个词是出于心理学目的，用来描述像彼得·潘一样未能长大的人。

在她的一次演讲中，冯·弗朗茨把“Puer Aeternus”描述为这样一种人

“他们仍长时间滞留在青少年的心理境况之中；也就是说在十六七岁孩子身上很正常的心理现象在他们之后的生命中仍然占据主导，很大程度上表现为对母亲的过度依赖”

冯·弗朗茨预测，在未来的几十年里，她所谓的“永远长不大的孩子”问题将会蔓延到世界各地，影响到越来越多的人。

//////////

Her predictions have proven remarkably accurate – especially among the male population of the Western world. Many young men are struggling academically, socially, spiritually, financially, and sexually.

They are living at home into their late 20s and 30s, choosing to remain in the comforting confines of their parents’ care rather than testing the unknown waters of independence.

Instead of striving to create something of themselves, many prefer the familiar and comfortable virtual worlds of internet, pornography, and video games.

They are passive wanderers in life with no path or purpose, save the pursuit of momentary pleasure to ease their suffering.

事实证明，她的预测非常准确，尤其是在西方男性中。许多年轻人在学业、社交、精神、经济和性方面都陷入困境

他们二三十岁还住在父母的家中，选择呆在父母关怀的舒适范围内，而不愿意尝试未知的独立环境。

与其努力创造自己的东西，许多人更喜欢熟悉和舒适的虚拟世界，如互联网、色情和电子游戏。

他们在生活中是被动的流浪者，没有道路，没有目标，除了追求短暂的快乐来减轻他们的痛苦。

//////////

Based on the scope of this problem, it would not be far fetched to claim that the problem of the puer aeternus is the primary neurosis of the modern age.

The purpose of this course is to provide an antidote to those who suffer from this problem.

To do this, we are going to provide an in-depth psychological analysis of the puer aeternus, and building on insights from Carl Jung, Soren Kierkegaard, von Franz, and others, provide practical advice on how to commence on a more responsible, enriching, successful, and independent life path.

Before we examine the psychology of the puer aeternus, it is necessary to take note of the conditions which have given rise to this social problem,

从这个问题的范围来看，我们不难得出结论，永恒的问题是现代社会的神经官能症。

这门课程的目的是为那些遭受这个问题的人提供一剂解药。

为了做到这一点，我们将提供一个关于“puer aeternus的”深入的心理分析，并在卡尔·荣格，克尔凯郭尔，冯弗朗茨和其他人的见解的基础上，提供实用的建议–如何开始一个更负责任，丰富，成功，和独立的生活道路。

在我们研究“Puer aeternus”的心理之前，有必要注意引起这一社会问题的根源

//////////

and toward this end, we must discuss how a strong mother complex stunts the maturation of many today – for as von Franz notes:“A man who has a mother complex will always have to contend with his tendencies toward becoming a puer aeternus.”

Throughout our evolutionary history, the mother and father have assumed different parental roles.

Mothers have always interacted with their children more than fathers.

They maintain more physical contact and are more nurturing, comforting, and empathetic to the physical and emotional pains and needs of the child.

This extremely intimate and close relationship with the mother-figure creates in the child a lasting emotional mark, or highly resistant psychological bond psychologists call a “mother complex”:

为此，我们必须讨论一个强大的恋母情结是如何阻碍今天许多人的成熟的

一个有恋母情结的男人总是要与他成为一个puer aeternus的倾向作斗争。

纵观人类进化史，母亲和父亲扮演着不同的家长角色。

母亲与孩子的互动总是多于父亲。

他们保持更多的身体接触，对孩子的身体和情感上的痛苦和需求更有教养、更有安慰、更有同情心。

这种与母亲形象的亲密关系给孩子留下了持久的情感印记，心理学家称之为“恋母情结”

//////////

“The child’s experience of the mother is internalized as a complex; an emotionally charged cluster of energy beyond the control of the ego.”

Fathers do not create this same bond of dependency with the child.

Instead, their role has traditionally been to provide the developing child with resources and protection, but just as importantly with guidance.

More specifically, the role of the father has been to help the child break free from their bond of dependency with the mother and so help him emerge into the world as an independent and functional adult.

儿童对母亲的体验内化为一种情结;超越自我控制的充满感情的能量团。

父亲们则不会和孩子建立同样的依赖关系。

相反，他们的角色传统上是为发展中的儿童提供资源和保护，但同样重要的是提供指导。

更具体地说，父亲的角色是帮助孩子摆脱对母亲的依赖，帮助他作为一个独立的、有能力的成年人进入社会。

//////////

In most cultures throughout history, individuals transitioned from adolescence to adulthood with the help of initiatory rites of passage.

The primary goal of all initiatory rites of passage, cross-culturally, was to separate the youth from his mother, first physically, and then psychologically.

These rites were performed shortly after the onset of puberty, and were instituted solely by the elder males of the tribe, the “cultural fathers”.

Women were generally banned from observing or participating in these rituals.

在历史上的大多数文化中，个人在成人仪式的帮助下从青春期过渡到成人期。

所有跨文化的成人启蒙仪式的首要目标，首先是在身体上，然后是心理上，把少年和母亲分开。

这些仪式是在青春期开始后不久举行的，只由部落中年龄较大的男性，即文化之父设立。

妇女一般被禁止观察或参加这些仪式。

//////////

A typical rite of passage, as explained by Mircea Eliade in his book Rites and Symbols of Initiation, proceeded as follows.In the middle of the night, the “cultural fathers” of the tribe, dressed as gods or demons, would snatch the youth from his bed.This was the last time the youth would see his mother, sometimes for months. The youth would be taken to a deep cave, buried alive, or else plunged into some other sort of literal, or symbolic darkness.

This stage represented the symbolic death of the youth’s childhood: the loss of paradise and the joys of irresponsibility.It was meant to the convey to the youth the message: “You can’t go home again.”

弥尔恰·埃利亚德在他的《仪式与成长的象征》一书中解释了一种典型的成人仪式，其过程如下。

在午夜，部落的文化之父们，装扮成神或恶魔，会把这个年轻人从他的床上抢走。

这是这个年轻人最后一次见到他的母亲，有时要经历几个月。

年轻人会被带到一个深洞里，活埋，或者陷入某种文字上的或象征意义上的黑暗。

这个阶段象征着青年时代的象征性死亡:失去了天堂，失去了不负责任的快乐。

这是为了向年轻人传达这样一个信息:你不能再回家了。

//////////

Following the symbolic death of childhood, a ceremony of rebirth would be performed, marking the young adult’s transformation to a more mature state of being.

He was subsequently taught by the elders the wisdom and knowledge of the tribe and then sent off into the wilderness where he would spend many months alone struggling for his survival.

Upon his successful return, he was welcomed back into the tribe as an adult member.

The youth, from that point on, was expected to have overcome his “mother complex”; immaturity and dependency were no longer acceptable.

Given the intensity and sometimes violent nature of these initiation processes, it appears as if our ancestors understood that separating a young boy from his mother was a monumental task requiring deliberate measures.

在象征着童年的死亡之后，会举行一个重生的仪式，标志着年轻人向更成熟的存在状态的转变。

他后来被长老们传授了部落的智慧和知识，然后被送到荒野中，在那里他要独自为生存而奋斗好几个月。

在他成功返回后，他被欢迎作为成年成员回到部落。

从那时起，这个年轻人就被认为已经克服了他的恋母情结;不成熟和依赖不再被接受。

考虑到这些启蒙过程的强度和有时是暴力的性质，我们的祖先似乎明白，把一个小男孩和他的母亲分开是一项艰巨的任务，需要深思熟虑的措施。

//////////

In the West today, there is no equivalent for these rites of passage.

“It has often been said that one of the characteristics of the modern world is the disappearance of any meaningful rites of initiation.”

Lacking “cultural fathers” and rites of initiation, the youth today must turn to their personal father to provide them with initiation into adulthood.

But unfortunately, not all fathers can supply their children with this guidance, for to do so, the father must be strong and independent himself and emotionally present in the child’s life.

在今天的西方，没有类似的仪式。

人们常说，现代世界的特征之一是没有任何有意义的入会仪式。

由于缺乏文化上的父亲和成教仪式，今天的年轻人必须求助于他们的父亲为他们提供成年的机会。

但不幸的是，并不是所有的父亲都能给他们的孩子提供这种指导，因为要做到这一点，父亲必须坚强、独立，并在孩子的生活中感情用事。

//////////

He must be able to show, by example, that there is something worth seeking and struggling for in this world; for to successfully encourage a young man to break from the comforts of childhood, he needs to be convinced there is somewhere worth going.

“Sons also need to watch their father in the world. They need him to show them how to be in the world, how to work, how to bounce back from adversity…They need the activation of their inherent masculinity both by outer modeling and by direct affirmation.”

In his book Finding Our Fathers, Sam Osheron cites an expansive study in which only 17% of American men reported having a positive relationship with their father during their youth.

In most cases, the father was physically or emotionally absent. Reflecting on this statistic, the psychotherapist James Hollis writes:

“If this amazing statistic is even close to the truth, something large and tragic has happened to one of the critical balances of nature.”

他必须能够以身作则，证明这个世界上有值得追求和奋斗的东西;为了成功地鼓励年轻人摆脱童年的舒适，他需要确信有值得去的地方。

儿子也需要在这个世界上看着他们的父亲。孩子需要父亲向他们展示如何在这个世界上工作，如何从逆境中恢复过来……孩子需要通过外在的塑造和直接的肯定来激活他们内在的阳刚之气。

在他的《寻找我们的父亲》一书中，Sam Osheron引用了一项研究，其中只有17％的美国男性报告说他们在年轻时与父亲有着积极的关系。

在大多数情况下，父亲在物质上或情感上都是缺席的。心理治疗师詹姆斯·霍利斯在反思这一统计数据时写道

如果这个惊人的统计数字接近事实，那么大自然的关键平衡之一就发生了一件巨大而悲惨的事情。

//////////

A disruption in a critical balance of human nature is exactly what has happened.

We live in the epoch of the absent father, and many suffer greatly as a result.

Young men are expected to leave the comforts of home, to overcome their mother complex, and to sculpt a life worth living all without the psychological support of a father.

Is it any wonder that the problem of the puer aeternus is so prominent in our time?

But the effects of an absent father are worsened by the impact this situation has on the mother.

For it produces a situation where, firstly, the mother tends to become more authoritative in her parenting to compensate for the lack of a masculine figure in the child’s life.

人类本性的关键平衡遭到破坏，这正是现在所发生的。

我们生活在没有父亲的时代，许多人因此而受苦受难。

年轻人被期望离开舒适的家庭，克服他们的恋母情结，在没有父亲心理支持的情况下塑造一个值得过下去的生活。

在我们的时代“puer aeternus”的问题如此显著还会那么意外吗？

但是这种情况对母亲的影响会使父亲不在身边的影响更加恶化。

因为它产生了这样一种情况:首先，母亲在养育孩子时往往变得更有权威，以弥补孩子生活中缺少男性形象。

//////////

And secondly, a failure on the part of the father to provide the mother with love and support creates in her an emotional hunger which she attempts to satiate through her relationship with her child.

This situation creates the perfect storm whereby the mother becomes what Jungians call a “devouring mother”.

其次，父亲未能给母亲提供爱和支持，这让她产生了情感上的渴望，她试图通过与孩子的关系来满足这种渴望。

这种情况创造了一场完美的风暴，在这场风暴中，母亲变成了荣格学说所说的“吞食的母亲”。

//////////

She overprotects and smothers her child and becomes involved in every aspect of his life.

她过度保护和扼杀她的孩子，并参与其生活的方方面面。

//////////

It is often the case that such a mother, despite having the best intentions, unconsciously manipulates her child into remaining dependent on her well into adulthood.And it is often the case that the child willingly complies.

“Behold the secret conspiracy between mother and son, and how each helps the other to betray life.”

通常情况下，这样的母亲，尽管有最好的意图，无意识地操纵她的孩子继续依赖她很好地进入成年。

通常情况下，孩子是自愿服从的。

看看母亲和儿子之间的秘密阴谋，以及彼此如何帮助对方背叛生命。

//////////

A child brought up in this manner, and thus never granted the opportunity to venture out on his own, to stand up for himself,to fail and fix his own mistakes, or to make decisions for himself, will develop into an adult crippled in his capacity to endure and overcome the inevitable challenges and struggles of life.

The healthy desire to adapt himself to reality and to individuate, both of which entail fear, pain, and conflict, will be replaced by his need to remain bound to his mother, whether it be his personal mother or a symbolic substitute in the world.

一个在这种环境下长大的孩子，从来没有机会独自冒险，为自己挺身而出

没有机会失败并改正自己的错误，也没有机会自己做决定，这都会使他不可避免的成长为一个在忍受和克服生活中挑战和斗争的能力上有缺陷的成年人。

使自己适应现实和个性化的健康愿望，包括恐惧、痛苦和冲突，将被他对与母亲保持联系的需要所取代，无论是他的私人母亲还是世界上象征性的替代品。

//////////

If he does not remain dependent on his biological mother, he may desperately seek to find in other women a nurturing replacement, or else lose himself in the comforting embrace of an addiction.

In other words, when a child emerges into adulthood with a strong mother complex, he will not seek to develop his independence and evolve his consciousness but rather will be possessed by what Jung calledIn other words, when a child emerges into adulthood with a strong mother complex, he will not seek to develop his independence and evolve his consciousness but rather will be possessed by what Jung called

如果他不继续依赖他的生母，他可能会拼命地在其他女人身上寻找一个养育孩子的替代品，否则他就会沉迷于一种上瘾的安慰之中。

换句话说，当一个孩子带着一种强烈的恋母情结长大成人时，他不会寻求发展他的独立性和进化他的意识，而是会被荣格所说的拥有：回归的精神，[这]威胁着我们与母亲的束缚，并在无意识中瓦解和灭绝。

He will find himself in the service of sleep, and not the battle of life.“…he hopes to be caught, sucked in, enveloped, and devoured. He seeks, as it were, the protecting, nourishing, charmed circle of the mother, the condition of the infant released from every care…No wonder the real world vanishes from sight!”

他会发现自己是在为睡眠服务，而不是为生活而战。

他渴望被人捕获,被吸人,被包裹,被吞噬,他寻找着那有魔力的母亲一一她保护他、滋养他,外部世界向他俯首称臣,幸福也会降临到他头上。无怪乎真实世界会从婴孩的视野里消失!

//////////

In the next video, we’ll provide an in-depth analysis of the psychology of the puer aeternus.

Following this, we’ll explore how puer can overcome his problems in order to lead a more independent and fulfilling life.

在下一集视频中，我们将深入分析puer aeternus的心理。

接下来，我们将探索puer aeternus如何克服自己的问题，从而过上更加独立和充实的生活。

▼